my day started off good but once i arrived in my class, i was of course sian. i was the only person sitting with other people. anyway after that somethings happened in my class, it is known as the "invinsible" conflict. anyway this whole i shall call "stupid" conflict is no conflict. i just don't know why girls like to keep things to themselves and not talk it out. so the so called "conflict" really became a true conflict. what stupidity is that. anyway shall not comment more on that. after the second is class, we were all waiting for the lift. but why must there be such a big gap. wonder what this class is becoming. so after that went to eat and went for magnum. today was exciting but physically and emotionally draining. i failed my 2.4km run which was not a surprise to me. then was sit up, just managed to pass it. then when it came to pull up's i just didn't know why i didn't want to do it. a part of me wanted to but another part of me didn't want to. i just lost control of myself and broke down. anyway i think only a few of them knew. i seemed so lost and no one to turn to. bell is having her own problems, the class like super stressed out with school work. magnum seems so competitive that to find a friend it is so hard. siti was no longer that close to me. but anyway thank God for yy. he accompanied me when i broke down. i told him a very brief summary of what is happening but actually there's much more. i just don't want to say it here. anyway after that we knew our try-outs results. to my surprise, i got the highest score. wonder how i scored so well when i thought i screwed up some things. but the worst thing was that i was not feeling happy for it at all maybe it was just after my break down i just didn't know how to react. so i just put on a smile. after that i went to studio wu for my dance practice. i was glad that ryan said all of us improved. anyway i think that i'm still thinking a lot which i know. but i can't stop it. it might be i'm too stressed. what lenny said is true i just wanna do the things i like to do now. i seem to just leave out the things i don't like to do. anyway wonder how long more can i brace myself up. too tired of all these stupid conflict and competitions. this is not what i want my life to be. it's so complicated. ru, i understand how you feel. one last question to ask myself. is there any one whom i can call a real friend? (entertaining someone is just talking about things on the surface. true friends is someone you confide in, share your problems with, encourage one another and share your joy and sorrow)